"A nomad I will remain for life, in love with distant and uncharted places." -Isabelle Eberhardt
"A nomad I will remain for life, in love with distant and uncharted places." -Isabelle Eberhardt
Bruno Bettelheim and The Meaning of Life
Aimee Geurts • Jul 18, 2019
Sunday morning with Bruno and coffee.

The opening line of Bruno Bettelheim’s The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales states, “If we hope to live not just from moment to moment, but in true consciousness of our existence, then our greatest need and most difficult achievement is to find meaning in our lives.”

I was first introduced to Bettelheim when I took Children’s Literature at Metro, back when I thought I was going to be a teacher. This was eight to ten years ago and I am just now picking up the book, as part of my Folklore Self-Education project. What struck me about the opening line is Bettelheim relating fairy tales to finding meaning in our lives, specifically children in their younger years. This is not a connection one typically makes.

Ever since my dad died four years ago, I have been slightly obsessed with the search to find meaning in my life. Add to that turning 40 last year and it has become a high priority, on both small and large scales. I have become that annoying person who says things like, “Every day is a gift!” and, “This is the only July 18th, 2019 I am ever going to get so I better spend it well!”

Then, on a large scale, as I see people struggle I wonder what the hell is any of this about? You go to work, to the gym, make dinner, walk the dogs, watch a show and it’s time for bed. Rinse and repeat, to then die! And for some, these daily things are really hard work. This sounds very morbid and depress-y and I assure you it is not. Just contemplative. I feel very fortunate in my life. I have everything I could ever want: great relationships with friends and family, a meaningful job, travel, health, kooky dogs, a garden and yet…I still wonder what is the point? Why am I here? And I realize I am probably making something out of nothing and the whole point of it is to grow my own zucchini and be content with that.

Later, in the intro, Bettelheim says, “To find deeper meaning, one must be able to transcend the narrow confines of a self-centered existence and believe that one will make a significant contribution to life – if not right now, at some future time. This feeling is necessary if a person is to be satisfied with himself and with what he is doing. In order not to be at the mercy of the vagaries of life, one must develop one’s inner resources, so that one’s emotions, imagination, and intellect mutually support and enrich one another. Our positive feelings give us the strength to develop our rationality; only hope for the future can sustain us in the adversities we unavoidably encounter.”

This is a lot to unpack and we are only at page 2 of the intro to the book! What he later gets at, what I believe he is telling me, is to return to the place of childhood curiosity, remove ego and learn all over from the meaning and importance of fairy tales. To see past myself and figure out how to make significant contributions. Easy, peasy….right?

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In Great Circle Jaime says, “The compromise is that I’m living day to day without making any sweeping decisions.” I realize I have fallen into this way of thinking. Whispering to myself, everything is fine today. Although I do still enjoy imagining other lives, get caught up in the swell of possibility, for the first time in a long time I feel settled.  Jamie’s sister Marian says, “Is that compromise? It sounds a bit like procrastination. You don’t think you’ll go back to being how you were before, do you?” I know I won’t go back to being how I was before. I know that today. I’m not sure what I’ll know tomorrow. Reading articles about women realizing they are tired of working the corporate ladder and feel vindicated in my low-paying jobs with no benefits. When the farmer in Spain doesn’t reply to my emails about a room and board work agreement, when the Airbnb host in Greece offers me his camper van instead of his home, I decide it’s all too much and I give up. I’m not upset about it. I’m relieved. Instead, I make easy plans to see the Redwood Forest, right here in the good ol’ U. S. of A. I plan to stop in Medicine Bow, WY on my way from Denver to Bismarck next time I’m there. My next adventure is right around the corner instead of a nine-hour flight away. I make plans to make less plans. I stop looking for more jobs. The low-paying jobs I have now are quite fulfilling and they pay me enough to cover my health insurance and put a little aside. What they give me is time. Time to have lunch with my sister-in-law on her birthday. Time to take a 4-day weekend to see my new niece. Time to take a walk downtown on a Wednesday and bring Roxy a sandwich while she slings books at the low-paying bookstore where I no longer work. Time to read all the books in my house. Time to volunteer in the middle of the day. Call it compromise. Call it procrastination. I call it feeling settled.
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