A story I tell about myself

Is I have a terrible memory

And I read too many books

To be able to remember things

My brain is simply crammed too full

A new friend gave me a copy of David Foster Wallace’s This is Water:

Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life

A commencement speech he delivered in 2005

He talks about goldfish and god and eskimos and the grocery store line*

But more importantly, he talks about the default settings we all have

Our powers of observation that are nothing more than habit

And instead, to be able to choose our thoughts

How we experience our experiences

Because we are the center of the experiences

They all happen to us, they all happen to me

And now I wonder

Do I have a terrible memory

Or have I not been paying attention?

*Recently, I was in line at the grocery story and the women in front of me finished her check out and THEN asked to purchase stamps thereby requiring another entire transaction and THEN she asked for a raincheck for some item that was on sale and out of stock (I assume?) and I didn’t even know rainchecks were a thing FFS! And THEN I realized I was having my very own David Foster Wallace experience and I took some deep breaths and reminded myself I hardly ever have to wait in line in this grocery story and this is really a one-off experience, and the cashier woman is being quite patient and how lovely to have time. I have the time to stand in this line and not be pissed off by stamps and rainchecks. I have the time.