"A nomad I will remain for life, in love with distant and uncharted places." -Isabelle Eberhardt
"A nomad I will remain for life, in love with distant and uncharted places." -Isabelle Eberhardt
A Conversation with My Inner Critic
Aimee Geurts • Sep 20, 2019

Me: “What’s up, Critic?”

Critic: “Just wondering why you’re not working?”

Me: “There are dishes to be done.”

Critic: “Bologna! They were there yesterday, and you didn’t care.”

Me: “Well, I need more time to really sit down and write and if I have to do the dishes, I can’t. Also, the thing I’ve written that I really liked, I was day drunk in Mexico and I gave up drinking and I’ll never write anything any good ever again!”

Critic: “Not with that attitude! Pull yourself together. You did it once, you can do it again.”

Me: “I better go back to Mexico.”

Critic: “Or read the blog post sober and figure out what you liked and do it again.”

Me: “Good idea. So now, what if no one wants to share their story with me?”

Critic: “Everyone wants to tell their story. People love to talk about themselves. Don’t you love to talk about yourself?”

Me: “Yes, when people are asking questions and seem genuinely interested.”

Critic: “Exactly! So, ask questions and seem genuinely interested!”

Me: “I AM interested!”

Critic: “So, what’s the problem?!”

Me: “I think I better go do the dishes.”

(Based on an exercise from the Lighthouse Writer’s Workshop class titled, Writing 101: You Gotta Start Somewhere)

By Aimee Geurts 07 Feb, 2023
An Ode to Midge
By Aimee Geurts 29 Jan, 2023
A poem
By Aimee Geurts 20 Jan, 2023
In Great Circle Jaime says, “The compromise is that I’m living day to day without making any sweeping decisions.” I realize I have fallen into this way of thinking. Whispering to myself, everything is fine today. Although I do still enjoy imagining other lives, get caught up in the swell of possibility, for the first time in a long time I feel settled.  Jamie’s sister Marian says, “Is that compromise? It sounds a bit like procrastination. You don’t think you’ll go back to being how you were before, do you?” I know I won’t go back to being how I was before. I know that today. I’m not sure what I’ll know tomorrow. Reading articles about women realizing they are tired of working the corporate ladder and feel vindicated in my low-paying jobs with no benefits. When the farmer in Spain doesn’t reply to my emails about a room and board work agreement, when the Airbnb host in Greece offers me his camper van instead of his home, I decide it’s all too much and I give up. I’m not upset about it. I’m relieved. Instead, I make easy plans to see the Redwood Forest, right here in the good ol’ U. S. of A. I plan to stop in Medicine Bow, WY on my way from Denver to Bismarck next time I’m there. My next adventure is right around the corner instead of a nine-hour flight away. I make plans to make less plans. I stop looking for more jobs. The low-paying jobs I have now are quite fulfilling and they pay me enough to cover my health insurance and put a little aside. What they give me is time. Time to have lunch with my sister-in-law on her birthday. Time to take a 4-day weekend to see my new niece. Time to take a walk downtown on a Wednesday and bring Roxy a sandwich while she slings books at the low-paying bookstore where I no longer work. Time to read all the books in my house. Time to volunteer in the middle of the day. Call it compromise. Call it procrastination. I call it feeling settled.
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